Undertow

Updated: Aug 27, 2024

I wrote this poem just a few short months after giving birth to my son, struggling with postpartum depression.

“It comes in waves,

I cry out to the one who saves

Craving what's beyond the surface

Desperately yearning for solace,

Within

"You're not worthy",

is what keeps replaying in the depths of

my mind,

An endless loop.

Harshly judging myself

all of the time,

"Look at the life I've been living"

Aimlessly searching to be made whole

Gaining the world but losing my soul.

It's a constant fight

Being drained of my light

Most say home is where the heart is

But home for me is a place I long to escape,

painful and familiar

yet I stay, I linger

Believing this is what I deserve

No more, only less,

What is happiness?

I am submerged in sadness

Most would never know it

My smiles don't show it

Unfathomable really,

Wishing I could express it all & live freely

The highs, the lows

I am no stranger to it,

Trapped in the undertow”

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