Letting go: Releasing Dead-weight

How to know when to let go of relationships in your life & how to prevent entangling yourself with another toxic person.

Energy Exchange

Sometimes in life, we are born into families, we do not get to choose our family initially, they are chosen for us. However, as time goes on we get the opportunity to forge a new path and create/choose our own family.

If you come from a toxic and/or abusive family like myself, you cannot wait for the day to have your own family and break generational curses and heal from generational traumas.

Be that as it may - Think carefully and do not ignore the RED flags:

Tip #1 - Do not be so quick for an escape that you choose the wrong partner.

Being hasty can wreck havoc in the end for your overall well-being and can bring lifelong happiness or suffering. Take your time getting to know your potential partner as they can either make or break you literally. Choose someone who adds to your happiness, not takes away from it. And if you find yourself playing "small" just to keep the peace, chances are this is NOT your person. R-U-N.

Tip #2 - Assess your Circle

Whoever you have in your circle whether family, friends, a significant other. Ask yourself this vital question: Do they add value to your life or do they take away, leaving you less empty than before? Surround yourself with people who inspire you and lift you up when you are down. Remember transference of energy is real. You may need to let go of some of your relationships or establish healthy boundaries surrounding those particular draining individuals.

Tip #3 - Ask yourself these questions (Reassess your core values/beliefs system)

• What do you genuinely and whole-heartedly believe/believe in?

• Do you believe in Heaven and/or Hell? God? The big bang?

• Do you harbor resentment for others/hold unto grudges or believe in forgiveness and the act of letting go?

Do the people who gain access to you relate to/carry those same or even similar beliefs?

Tip #4 - Make a list of your Non-negotiables

Whether your list contains:

• Commitment

• Loyalty

• Family

• Respect

• Honesty

• Being a Non-smoker

• Emotional Support

• Shared values,

• Equality and;

• Intimacy (just to name a few).

  Creating a list of your very own non-negotiables will ensure you do not ever settle for less.

  Don't continue to keep people in your life based off of potential. It's all about what they bring to the table, are they creating peace or dredging turmoil?

  
  

Tip #5 - Rid yourself of the guilt/remorse that comes with giving toxic people an exit from your life.

If they are really for you, they will be open to and willing to change as everyone knows, the best apology is changed behavior, not empty words/promises and most definitely not repeated behavior/patterns which are damning to you.

It's okay to let go, you do not want to remain a sinking ship. Lessen the load/weight you carry by keeping those who uplift you not those who drag you down:

As the Zen Proverb says, "Let go or be dragged."