"It's okay not to be okay"

Starting over is scary, being alone, scarier. Why is it so hard to be vulnerably honest?

My son is 3 months and 1 day old today. I am first time mom, depressed yet that is so hard to come out and say. "Why?" A question that triggers me... I don't know how to answer, "why?" Why does there even have a be a specific reason? Some times there isn’t a rhyme or reason. Life is crazy beautiful, bittersweet. There's no recipe for it. It isn't equal parts sugar or spice.

So "why?" Why do we feel the need to dress it up?

Please know, “It's okay not to be okay.” Society, however, often implies it isn't, Impressing and pretending for "likes", measuring our worth by our social media following. So who decides?

I AM MANIC/depressive.

I used to say that I can handle the depression but not the mania, I was so ashamed, I am ashamed. Coming down from the highs, remembering on your own or being told you did and said things that were "crazy."

God, I hate that word, "crazy" and "sick"

Depression is more accepted than being MANIC. But as I am writing this post I realize, one is no better or worse than the other. The views are different... PEOPLE question depression but they don't question a "crazy" person,

"It is what it is." Why has that become such a common thing to say? I hate it yet I too am guilty of saying, "it is what it is." When will the world say: "I am manic and it's ok", "I am depressed and there is no one reason why." We all have our ailments, whether mental, physical or emotional. So let's work together to end the STIGMA, No more "dressing up" depression or "toning down" the mania. My mania, my depression.

Take ownership, but do not let it define you. Mental illness is something you may suffer from but it is NOT who YOU are. It is time to be brave and be bold.

There is power in our words.

Power in our thoughts, power within us. As I end here, a famous quote comes to mind:

“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson

Sending love & light your way, Always, Vee

#mentalhealth #bpd #depression #mania #endthestigma